Iran - 3

I hate this head-scarf business.  It is the most
nonsensical thing I can think of.  It is forever
falling off my head every five seconds because it just
doesn’t go there and it shouldn’t have to.  It’s not
only me, it falls off of everyone’s head and girls are
always fixing them everywhere I go.  They are
extremely bothersome, uncomfortable and inconvenient,
to say the least.  As a foreigner, I am unused to
having them on my head all the time so I don’t notice
when it falls off me (especially because I am not one
to be fussy about my appearance). When I pat my head,
as I do every two seconds, to see if it’s still there
and it’s not, I freak out because I’m afraid of being
arrested.  I can only dream for whoever made up this
dumb rule to live eternally, having to wear a
head-scarf.  At least the trench coat/shirt item is
actually a real piece of clothing that fits a body and
stays on, but these god-forsaken scarves are not
supposed to always be on peoples’ heads; that is what
hair is for, and my hair is rather slippery, and so it
just rejects my ridiculous scarf all the fucking time.
I am resigned to non-stop cursing in English on a
windy day, as it gets blow off more than it actually
stays on. 

I thought I would be invisible in my black uniform but
I was wrong.  I went walking alone today and then sat
on a stoop to smoke a cigarette.  It isn’t technically
illegal for girls to smoke, it’s just not done very
often at all, and now I can see why.  You wouldn’t
believe the scowls I got from everyone; as if my
smoking a cigarette was their own personal business
and they fervently disapproved of it.  Newsflash
shitheads: mind your own fucking business!  I’m the
one that has to walk around with a scarf that has a
life of it’s own on my fucking head!  Let me smoke my
fucking cigarette in peace, goddamn it!  Men actually
stopped walking on the sidewalk to chide me, and
others just stared at me coldly while walking and then
would look back four of five times after they passed
me until I was out of sight.  I really wanted not to
give shit but it just wasn’t worth the trouble.  I put
the wretched thing out just as someone else was
passing by and then to top it all off, he turned his
head, gazed at the butt in disbelief, and then turned
to me in disgust also.  I wanted to scream at him, “I
put the damn thing out, asshole!” but I just told
myself that he was an ignoramus and took a sip of
water and stared back at him through my sunglasses.
They don’t know how easy they have it, and then they
have the audacity to think they can pass judgment and
social punishment on those who have less freedom than
them?  It’s totally obscene. 

On my way home after the cigarette incident, some man
stopped his car in an intersection, blocking me as I
was trying to cross the street, and tried to persuade
me to get in his car so he could give me a ride “up
the hill.”  He wouldn’t let me pass so finally I had
to run around the back of his car in order to evade
his advances.  I wasn’t scared; I was mad, more than
anything.  It mad me sick of being a woman.  Even
without the cigarette, I still got looks from everyone
walking by myself down the street, though not flat-out
scowls.  I couldn’t understand it for the life of me.
I don’t like the attention.  I feel so normal but that
doesn’t seem to be reflected on the outside, even with
the head-to-toe covering.

Aside from these minor complaints, I’m actually having
a wonderful time.  I go to parks often.  There are so
many of them due to the fact that there are no bars
and dance clubs for people to hang out in.  I thought
there would be a lot more coffee shops in the city but
I haven’t seen any yet.  The parks here are a trip.
They are like playgrounds for adults only instead of
swings and see-saws, there are these odd-looking
exercise machines which I have never seen before.  For
example, the closest thing I can think of to describe
these contraptions is something like those Nordic
tracks from the eighties but there are so many
different types I could never explain all of them.
There are ones in which you stand on a small circle
with your hands gripping bars, which are at your hip,
on either side of you, and you swing your little foot
platform from side to side so that you look like a
vertical fish flipping around.  There is another one
where there are three little circles, so that three
people can do it at the same time, and you step onto
the circle and hold a bar at your chest and twist your
platform from side to side so that your are doing the
twist.  There are so many of them and it is absolutely
hilarious to walk around seeing grown men and women in
their heard scarves concentrating so heavily on doing
these ridiculous looking exercises.  The first time I
went, I walked inside and immediately started laughing
because there were so many machines and all of them
were being used!  It was so crowded and everyone was
doing something funny!  It’s even more hilarious that
they don’t think it is funny at all; and they don’t
have ipods either, so you know that they really are
just concentrating on their swinging or what-have-you.
I tried a few of them today and I just couldn’t stop
laughing at myself.  Even though most of them have the
exercise contraptions, most parks also have a
different theme to attract people.  Tonight, I went to
a park where the pathways are made of fluorescent
pink, yellow, and white pieces of gravel and the there
are black-lights lining the canopy of the paths.  It
looked like a galaxy park or something.  I picked up
some rocks and walked around holding them in my palm.
It looked like I was walking around with pink and
yellow stars in my hand.  It was so cool.  I took them
home with me.    

For the past couple of days my family has taken me to
the mountains.  They know that I enjoy that type of
sightseeing rather than going to the malls or
whatever, although that would be interesting as well
in a different way.  It’s a shame that I’m unable to
go hiking like I am in other parts of the world
because people just don’t do that here, and I can’t go
alone.  I can’t travel around the country like I
wanted to because as a single woman, hotels will not
let me buy a room by myself, nor with any other single
woman, nor with a man who is not my father, and so on.
As far as I know, they don’t like you to camp either,
so in other words, I can’t really at all.  The only
way I could do the type of traveling that I’m used to
is if I hired a certified male guide to take me around
privately but it far too expensive and fussy for me. 

But in any case, these day outings with family are
highly entertaining, especially because my family,
with the exception of my grandma, are just amazing
people that I have endless fun with; and the only
reason that I don’t have fun with my grandma is simply
that she’s too old and stubborn and worries too damn
much.  As I was saying, we went to the mountains
yesterday and I was positively camera-happy, to the
disconcertment of my family.  For some reason, they
don’t understand that I like to take pictures of the
scenery and buildings just as much as I like to take
pictures of family and I think they get annoyed at it.
Therefore, it’s difficult for me to stop and take as
many pictures as I’d like when I go out with them.
However, on this particular trip, it was so beautiful
that I decided that I couldn’t let their irritation
inhibit me so I just took pictures right, left, and
center. 

It was so beautiful up there.  We walked around this
really old city in the mountains with old houses and a
stream running alongside the path.  There were narrow
stone staircases, and tents with people selling nuts
and dried fruit underneath, and mosaic buildings
hidden in path corners, and beautiful trees with
really cool bark, and I could go on forever.  We went
up to this outside “coffee shop” and it was splendid.
There were shallow pools made with beautifully
designed tile and contained big goldfish, which are
good luck here, and fountains.  Amidst the shade of
the leafy trees, there were benches, but 7 by 7 foot
square benches with a back on two sides, covered in
Persian rugs, where everyone takes their shoes off and
sits cross-legged, or with their legs hanging off the
side, in a circle.  Above our heads were draped these
big lengths of sheer fabric, hanging from two poles on
either side of the bench/table, through which sun
light could seep through but not bear down on us
uncomfortably.  The café workers brought us tea and we
had already bought some chips from their kiosk.  Then,
to my utter delight, they brought out a big beautiful
hookah and we smoked hookah and drank tea and sat on
our rugged table in the middle of this gorgeous
courtyard with fountains and pools in the mountains.
It was so wonderful I just couldn’t stop smiling.  On
the way down the mountain we stopped at this tiny
bakery and got some freshly baked flatbread, it was so
delicious, I felt like I was high or something.  There
were so many things I had never seen before there like
these huge sheets of fruit roll-up type foods hanging
from a string connected to two trees.  Once I get
internet on my computer, I will post the pics. 

I can’t wait to see more places.  My life here is
really simple.  It consists of walks, reading, and
family gathering where everyone actually wants to be
there including me, and learning most of all.  I’m
learning about so many things at once here.  Yesterday
my cousins taught me Persian dancing and then we
danced together while the rest of my family sat around
us in a circle clapping and snapping to the music.
They said they couldn’t believe I didn’t know how to
dance before that.  It was flattering.  My cousins
play these really cool instruments as well.  One of
them plays a Persian hand drum and she is 11 but she
sounds like she’s been doing it for ten years.  I want
to get a video of it so I can show you guys.  You
would be so blown away.  There’s another one that
plays something that looks like a really big
tambourine but is covered on one side like a drum so
that you can beat it with your fingers and shake it
like a tambourine at the same time.  She’s really good
too.  I’ll have to bring back some authentic Persian
music for you guys.  Simple, simple.  I’m very happy
right now.