Lucia y el Sexo

She waited and waited for a bump in the cycle, a wrench, so to speak... always the same let downs, still sweet let downs, but let downs all the same.  You know, the kind that are difficult to forget and easy to forgive.  Those ones that sneak up on you every so often because they never went away in the first place.  The interminable kind that keep on repeating and entertwining with one another...but I suppose it's the same for everyone around.  But now...I wonder if she can´t take it anymore. It appears as if it's starting to drown her, it gets to be too emotional at times.

"What can I do?"...a goad.  "do I stay to see the end, or do I start a new beginning again?" ...a pause. "and why is the water in life always so bloody murky?" A copout. "who am I to make the decision anyway?" And what is that? It can't be!  Is she really relinquishing agency again?!  "I can´t be this person anymore. " The stoke finally falls.  "Please, make me strong again. Take me somewhere else where I can pretend to be new and strong...like...impervious"  but that only lasts for so long, because time wears everything, even steel. 

There was the day she decided to go, actually is was more like a minute. And there she was two days later, in bed, with him. She knew she had had to see the story unfold for herself. Little did she know how her curiosity would change it. He always wanted to "wait and see what happens..." It´s a way of not committing...but then again, who can blame that? Maybe there was no heart in her choice. Maybe there was only desire, and he was banking on the latter. He wasn't up to breaking anyone's heart this time around.  She was banking on fate, so that he wouldn't have to. So she went, and it made everything different. It made him turn into himself, and it made her desire even stronger. But now the desire possessed its own life, it controlled her.

He always talked about going to the sea, and now she was almost scared to go, for it had taken on a new meaning after "Lucia y el Sexo," and it became a behemoth. There was nothing she could express to him to explain her reluctance. It was still so new, the spark between them, but she knew how it would turn out, and it would most likely be bad... But there is always hope isn´t there? And she had only just gotten there. But it was already so intense, yet so detached at the same time, like she could simply walk away at any minute from the controlled chaos that was levitating around her. And she knew there was nothing that she could say to him and nothing she could do to change his mind, to pull him out of himself again. And all the while she was thinking this, he was still stuck in his own little inner monologue. And it was the perfect match.